No Man at All
by Alex000000
Summary: MWPP fiction about their second year, and focused around discovering Remus' lycanthropy and the fall out that happens afterwards. As canon as I can manage. Follows on from 'His Eyes Knew Only Fear', but it's not an essential read, this works perfectly well as a standalone story. I own nothing, it's all J.K. Rowlings.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **_So this is my second story on here, this follows on from my first, 'His Eyes Knew Only Fear', but you don't need to have read that one to understand what's going on in this. I'm going to try and keep more on top of getting the updates out with this one, but as ever, I can't promise anything. I'll never abandon it entirely, but well... my last one took nearly a year to get up in whole. It will get finished though, just bear with me if you can._

_In 'His Eyes Knew Only Fear' I asked which POV people would prefer for this, and the general consensus was another one from Remus' POV. I _know _most people wanted it from Remus, and I _know _it's about him, but I can't see it working for what I want to do, so I'll have to give you second best and give you Sirius. I'm sorry. I hope you'll still read it though, you'll be seeing plenty of Remus, I promise!_

_Enjoy._

-o0o-

**PROLOGUE**

Remus John Lupin was a lycanthropic twelve year old pupil at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To his utmost amazement he had successfully made it through his first year of school without anyone knowing of the fact he turned into a bloody thirsty, murderous creature once every month. That and the fact that not one of the three other boys he shared a dormitory room with had been expelled. Those three boys had become his friends in the past year, the only friends that Remus had ever had, and the best ones that he could ever have wished for.

Over the holidays they had kept in touch, devising a plan to allow Remus to communicate with them, despite not owning an owl. If Remus wanted to send a letter to James or Sirius he was to post it, via Muggle post, to Peter, who would then forward it on to the intended recipient, being the only other half-blood with a house muggle enough not to cause the unsuspecting postmen to think they had gone out of their minds at the sight of a self-mowing lawn. James, Sirius and Peter would all reply to him in the normal method, owls, and if they could spare it, instruct their owls to wait for Remus to reply.

Upon arriving back at the school – this year they were transported across the Great Lake by flying carriages – Remus felt like he had never left. It had been a relief not to have to worry about the patterns in his disappearances, or with catching up on the schoolwork he missed while incarcerated in the hospital wing, but the awkward atmosphere at home was never enough to make up for that. That said, his father had warmed to him somewhat, there was now an acknowledgement of his existence, but there was never a healthy father-son relationship, there hadn't been since the realisation that Remus would have a wolf inside him for the rest of his life.

Being back at the school made Remus realise that although it had taken lies and deceit to avoid being discovered, he still loved the place and would do anything to avoid being taken away from it. There were pangs of pain still whenever he had to lie to his friends, coming up with yet another story as to why he had gone missing for several days, and it never got any easier, but at least they had started to accept that it was the way he was, and had begun to ignore it.

Or so he thought.


	2. The Morning After the Full Moon

**A/N: **_Here's the first chapter I've ever written from Sirius' POV. I definitely need to work on his characterisation though. I don't think it's too shabby. Enjoy and review please!_

**THE MORNING AFTER THE FULL MOON**

"Again! He's gone and disappeared again!"

"Sirey, will you shut up?" James mumbled groggily, still half asleep. "Please?"

"No James, I won't bloody shut up, Remus has vanished again." Sirius said, even louder than the first time, shooting bolt upright in bed. When James rolled over, pulling his sheets over his head, Sirius grabbed his pillow from behind him and launched it at his immobile body.

With an angry shoving down of the sheets James emerged, looking more humorous than angry with his black hair sitting messier than usual, quite a feat for a Potter. "Merlin's beard, can't you just let a man sleep?"

"Remus has gone, that's the second time this month."

James looked around the room, squinting towards the bed next to him, which Remus had occupied for the previous four months since the start of the new academic year. Eventually he gave up and felt around for his glasses, clumsily putting them on his face. "Did he say anything to you?"

Sirius shook his head, frowning and running a hand through his knotted hair as he wondered where their friend had gone again. He didn't have a girl on the go as far as Sirius was aware, he wouldn't have been able to keep that a secret from them, and anyway, Remus seemed to spend more time with his nose buried in his books than anything else. Maybe he was just falling asleep down in the library, but they'd checked there before and there had been no sign of him. Any of the teachers they ever asked seemed extremely unwilling to answer him, and that sparked a curiosity in Sirius' sharp mind.

Not only did it spark curiosity, but it also worried him. They might laugh and joke about Remus being the mother of the group most of the time, the mature one who always stopped them before things got too far, but he was well and truly part of the gang. Sirius just couldn't understand why he kept disappearing and why he never gave them a good reason for doing so, some of them were obvious lies, nobody has that many mishaps travelling back to Hogwarts, but James had insisted that they didn't push him for the truth.

James climbed out of bed and poked the lump in the one to his right, hard. There was no movement from the lump, and James sighed, reaching back to his bed and under his pillow for his wand. Pointing it at the breathing duvet he screwed up his eyes and carefully said, "_linteum inflamarae_".

As a ball of fire jumped from the tip of James' wand to the sheets on the door poster bed, the lump residing within it began to stir, until with a yelp the fourth member of the dorm room emerged, flapping wildly at the flames with his bare hands.

"I wish you'd stop doing that!" Peter complained, finally managing to get the flames under control. "You could just wake me up normally."

Sirius smirked, "But where's the fun in that? You'd never wake up anyway." Peter started to open his mouth to protest, but silenced him with a pointed stare at Remus' empty bed. "Remus didn't say anything to you, did he?"

"No. He normally does though."

It was true, Remus did normally tell them when he was going to disappear, even if his stories didn't always quite add up, but recently he'd been getting more and more lax, as if he'd run out of excuses... or thought that he could get away with it. If there was one thing that Sirius was, it wasn't being forgetful; there was no way that he was going to let Remus get away with that. Especially as a friend, something was going on, and Remus could be in trouble.

The boys dressed in silence, Sirius running possible reasons for Remus' disappearance through his head, but not coming up with anything new. A lot of his excuses seemed to be centred about his mother; which made him wonder if something bad was happening at home, but although Remus had hinted that his relationship with his parents wasn't brilliant, Sirius doubted that it could be any worse than his own family relationships. After all he was the only Gryffindor in the history of the Noble house of Black, or at any rate, the only one who hadn't been disowned yet.

At breakfast Remus still hadn't appeared, although they waited as long as possible, most of their classmates having already left by the time they were still eating their cereal, none of them keen to make conversation. The mood was never right with Remus missing, particularly when he hadn't pre-warned them.

-o0o-

By the time they entered their Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson Remus still hadn't appeared, and Sirius had realised that it was going to be another one of his long disappearances. He huffed as he slumped down in his usual seat at the back of the classroom, chucking some parchment and a quill onto the desk as the professor glared at him. Their previous professor, Merridew, had never come back after the end of their first year, something about a severe case of dragonpox. It was no big loss though; their latest professor was on par with their old one, and just as fun to wind up.

He daydreamed through the whole lesson, until Peter nudged him hard in the ribs, warning him that Professor Kirby had asked him a question.

"Sorry sir, could you repeat that?"

"As I was saying Mr Black, what is one of the main identifiers of a cursed wound?"

At the mention of a cursed wound his heart beat sped up, Remus had told them in their first year that the self-inflicted scars on his body couldn't be removed as they were cursed. Those scars were another reason that Sirius worried about him as he disappeared, he'd revealed that he'd hurt himself on purpose when he got upset. He'd been given some disillusionment cream so that no one else would notice the criss-crossing scars all over his arms, but to the four boys they were still visible, but they had no idea if there had been new additions they'd never seen. The cream only let them see what they expected to be there.

"They can't be removed." Sirius said confidently.

A hint of exasperation entered their professor's eyes. "Anyone would think you'd been listening."

As Sirius sat back down he couldn't resist adding, "Of course I am sir."

"I was going to award 10 points to Gryffindor, but for that cheek I won't."

The Gryffindor's collectively groaned, but Sirius just smiled softly to himself, thinking they should be grateful that they hadn't lost any points this time. With renewed interest in the lesson, he decided to actually take his textbook from his bag, and peeked across to see the relevant page in James' book, noticing that James seemed more preoccupied at drawing a detailed diagram of a quidditch pitch on the margin of the page.

_"Cursed wounds are the cause of exceptionally dark magic, and as such are relatively uncommon. They are normally accrued by being the subject of a powerful curse, which leaves a lasting effecting on an individual's wellbeing. Due to their nature, cursed wounds cannot be removed, by either magical or muggle means, and can take an extended length of time to heal in comparison with their non-cursed counterparts. They can appear either silver or white in colour."_

Sirius read the paragraph over several times, noticing that there was no mention of self-inflicted wounds. Why would Remus have been lying about how he got his scars? They certainly seemed to fit the description provided. He skimmed the remainder of the chapter, and found nothing, so turned to Peter, who was diligently taking notes, his brow glistening with the effort of concentrating.

"Lemme borrow that." He said, snatching his parchment away before he had time to protest, and shoving his blank piece across for him to use. He squinted, trying to make out Peter's untidy scratchings, but there was no mention of anything self-inflicted their either.

Thoroughly confused he turned to James. "Remus said his scars were cursed, but there's no mention of anything self-inflicted here."

"Huh?" It was clear he hadn't been paying any attention at all.

Quickly and quietly while Professor Kirby was facing the blackboard, Sirius filled James in on the lesson and what had he had noticed in the last few minutes. At the end of the conversation James laid down his quill, and furrowed his brow in thought, whilst Sirius waited with baited breath for his response. Maybe he was over thinking things, and seeing a problem where there wasn't one, but something just wasn't quite right with Remus, and it worried him. Cursed wounds could never mean a good thing.

"Let's ask him." James said suddenly.

His words confused Sirius, they'd tried asking Remus, James knew that. James was the one who stopped him pestering Remus like a hungry puppy all day long until he told him what the matter was. "We've tried that, remember?"

"No not Lupin, you fool. _Him._" His words were punctuated with a nod of his head towards the rakish professor.

"We're not exactly his favourite pupils are we..."

"Get Peter to do it then."

-o0o-

"S - sir..."

From outside in the hallway Sirius could just about make up the timid noises of Peter asking the professor about cursed wounds. It had taken quite a few minutes of persuading him, and in the end they had to resort to simply shoving him through the studded oak door. He was eager to please them, but try as they might they could never seem to the short boy to stand up on his own two feet and for himself. It didn't make them care for him any less though, he was one of them, and there was no way they would just abandon him, no matter how much they needed to baby him through life. And of course, he had his uses.

Absentmindedly, Sirius combed his hair with his hands, noticing that it was growing longer and longer, something which he took great glee in, knowing the amount it irritated his mother. Somehow it wasn't fitting for a Black to have curly hair, and she tried her best to keep it cut short, but she wasn't able to control him when he was at Hogwarts. Other than his friends, that was his main reason for enjoying being at the school, his family couldn't do anything about what was going on in his life. There was the exception of his cousin, Narcissa, who occasionally relayed messages from his parents when he ignored their howlers, but thankfully she seemed too proud of herself to be seen talking to a lowly Gryffindor.

Remus had never had any howlers off his parents though; they didn't even have an owl. Was that what this was about, money? Because although he tried to hide it as much as possible, it was clear to see that he wasn't from an affluent background, and wouldn't take any help from anyone else. Sirius started pacing outside the door to the classroom, he was worrying too much about his friend, and the feeling of something not being right was building and building within him.

Finally James grabbed his arm as he paced again. "You're making me dizzy."

"Sorry, just _something _isn't right. I know it." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and kicked his foot on the flagstone floor. "What if he's in big trouble?"

"It can't be that bad or he would have said somethi –"

"Maybe that's why he hasn't said anything?!"

James laughed. "Sirius. Calm. Down. Everything will be fine."

As he was talking, Peter walked out of the classroom. His face was flushed, and he kept wiping his hands on his trouser legs.

Sirius pounced. "What did he say then?!"


	3. The Library

**A/N**_: This took longer to write than I'd have liked, but I had a 30-odd page report to do for college (no, not the type of college you're thinking of, I'm in England) which sort of had to take precedent. Anyway, I'm finished with all that now, so it's just me and the Marauders' for the rest of the summer (and work, and looking after the animals, and everything else I have to do...)_

_And lots of thanks to my new beta, __**dndchk**__. If there are any mistakes left over then blame me, but hopefully it'll be better than it normally is._

**THE LIBRARY**

The three boys were gathered around one of the tables in the library. Sirius was at the head of the table, with James and Peter gathered close around. It had been Sirius' idea to convene in the library, but the others were just as keen to discover what was going on with Remus, aware that something wasn't right at all. Especially since Peter had spoken to Professor Kirby.

"So," Sirius stated, announcing the start of their un-official meeting, and turning to Peter. "What did Kirby say to you again?"

In a hushed voice Peter recounted the conversation he'd had with their Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. "I asked him whether you could give yourself a curse wound, and he just s-stared at me. He kept asking me why I wanted to know; I think he thought it was me who was hurting myself."

"You were in there for ages, did he say anything else?" James hissed. He looked frustrated at the lack of information Peter was giving them.

"He kept asking me why I needed to know." His voice started to rise into a squeak. "But he said it wouldn't cause cursed scars."

Sirius' head fell onto his hands and he kneaded his forehead with the balls of his thumbs. So Remus had been lying about how he got his scars. They weren't self-inflicted at all. He was far from being angry- he was worried. Something was going on with his friend that was so bad he wouldn't dare to tell them. He'd actually let them believe he was so upset that he resorted to causing physical harm to himself. What that something was though, he had no clue.

He looked around at his two other friends, wondering whether they had any more of an idea than he did. They were both worried as well, but somehow they didn't seem quite as concerned as he did. In fact, they largely seemed emotionless. If anything, Peter was fretting about the conversation with Professor Kirby; his cheeks had been flushed with blood since he'd recounted the conversation.

"C'mon guys, there's got to be something bad going on, something must have happened..."

"How are we going to figure it out? If Remus doesn't want to tell us, then he doesn't want to tell us," James sighed.

"What would Remus do? He'd go to the library, and guess where we are. One of these bloody tomes _must_ have the answer in it." Sirius leapt to his feet and hurried to the nearest bookshelf, pushing the irritation at his friends' lack of interest out of his head, distracting himself with the task at hand.

It wasn't until he'd pulled half of the books on the shelf down onto the table below that James stepped in. "Sirius, you do know those books are all on Quidditch, right?" He laughed gently. "I don't think our Remus is a secret Quidditch player."

Sirius stopped and frowned at the books, before dumping them back roughly onto the shelves, cheeks burning with the feeling of stupidity. James beckoned to him and he trailed after the messy haired boy as he led them to the section dedicated to Defence Against the Dark Arts. "I'll help you look, but I'm still not sure, it's a bit too much like prying..."

"I've just got a feeling something's not right. How many kids our age are covered in scars after all?" Sirius insisted, attacking the next bookshelf with more fury than before, tossing them at Peter, who'd been instructed to make note of anything, anything at all, mentioning cursed wounds.

By the time Madam Pince had thrown them out of the library, half an hour after their curfew thanks to James' wheedling, they were still none the wiser than they had been when they arrived. Sirius dragged his feet as they made their way back to the corridor. The thrill of being out after hours wasn't enough to get his heart racing anymore, not even when they spied Peeves the Poltergiest up ahead and were forced to make a large detour to avoid the infuriating not-quite-ghost altering every single teacher and prefect in the castle that "sickly secondies" were out of bed again.

When they were finally back in their dormitory, they restarted the discussion on what they'd learned about curse wounds. James pulled a slip of parchment from his pocket where he'd jotted down all the causes they'd discovered in various books.

"Obviously curses, Dark magic, wounds from Dark creatures..." He read.

"Dark creatures?" Peter inquired.

"Yeah, like vampires or werewolves."

Sirius frowned, considering the not-so-new information. It was unlikely that Remus was involved in some sort of Dark magic, he was a Gryffindor after all, and wasn't it Slytherin that all those sort of people ended up in? And as for werewolves and vampires, there weren't many of those around anymore; the Ministry had sorted that problem out. If they were running rampant someone would have heard something. Anyway, Remus wouldn't go looking for them, that wasn't like him. It didn't seem likely that anything Dark would interest the reserved boy.

"Absolutely nothing about self-inflicted wounds causing that sort of thing."

James nodded his head in agreement. "Are they definitely curse wounds?"

"If they weren't then Madam Pomfrey would have removed them, right? It's a lot of effort to keep applying that lotion every day." Sirius had considered the possibility that that part was the lie, and not the fact they were self-inflicted, but it seemed to make even less sense than the other explanation.

-o0o-

That night Sirius couldn't sleep. He lay awake for what felt like hours, thoughts of Remus swimming around his head. Where was he? What sort of trouble was he in? What was he hiding from them? Eventually he couldn't take it anymore, and he slipped out of his bed, softly padding out of the dormitory and down to the Common Room. The coals in the grate were still glowing, and he lifted the poker from its holder beside the fire place, prodding at them until they burst back into flame. By the warm flickering light of the fire he found his way to the window-seat, staring out over the grounds, lit quite well in the bright moonlight.

A yawn escaped from his mouth, and he stifled it with a slightly shaking hand. Despite the fire there was still a chill in the autumn, almost winter, air. He was tired, and not just from the sleepless night. The constant niggling thoughts of his friend being in trouble were taxing his brain. Try as he might he couldn't focus on coming up with new pranks, or thinking of classwork, or anything else less troublesome. In the end he was forced to settling on thinking about his family. Although far from pleasant thoughts, they made a welcome change.

His parents were purists of the worst kind; they barely acknowledged that Muggles walked the same planet as them, and though it wasn't an unusual thing for a wizard to do, the extent of disowning anyone who dared to get too friendly was another matter. One of his cousins, Andromeda, had been disowned earlier that year. Sirius wondered if it was partly as a warning to him. Since then he hadn't seen her, and all he knew was that where her name and the slightly wonky portrait of her were no longer on the Black tapestry, replaced by a charred hole. Apparently it was to do with continuing to see the muggleborn she'd grown close to during their time at Hogwarts. He wished she was still at the school; it would have been nice to have someone on his side.

Even she'd been in Slytherin though. His entire family had been in Slytherin for as long as he could remember, and even if they hadn't been, he wouldn't have been told. Not once his parents realised he was destined to stray from the well-trodden path into that of a Gryffindor...

-o0o-

With an ache in his back and shoulder, Sirius jerked awake. He was no longer alone in the Common Room, and the castle grounds were no longer lit by the light of the moon, but by the early morning sun. He rubbed his eyes, looking awkwardly around at the pair of people who'd just walked down the stone steps into the room as well. They were two fifth years, not anyone he'd ever spoken to before. Quietly, avoiding their curious gaze, he found his way up the staircase they'd emerged from, back to his dormitory.

As he entered he realised that his friends were already up and dressing, clearly they weren't able to sleep deeply either. James gave him a look as he bent down to retrieve his clothes, but didn't say anything. Sirius realised that James had worked out that the deal with Remus was hitting him harder than the others. It was true, he did seem to be more bothered than any of the others, but these were more than his friends, these were his family. They were the first people he'd met, with the exception of Andromeda maybe, who shared his views on muggles and muggleborns. Where he hated everything his family preached, he loved the refreshing attitudes of his brilliantly accepting friends. Surely Remus would know that too? Why did he have to hide whatever it was that had been harming him?

On their way down to breakfast Sirius' night-time disappearance was finally addressed. "So where did you go last night?"

"Just down to the Common Room. I must have fallen asleep down there." He grimaced as he arched his back, trying to get it to crack. "My back's killing me; I fell asleep at the window."

He remembered sitting there and staring out over the grounds, thinking how still and calm it looked, lit by nothing except the light of the moon, it must have been almost full. Sirius wasn't a sentimental boy, but there was something beautiful about the grounds that night, so still and so quiet. He certainly wasn't going to admit to anyone else that he'd found it beautiful. He might have ignored what his family thought of him, actively encouraging them to hate him even, but his friends were another matter. A small smile crept on to his face at the memory of the view of the grounds, bathed in the silvery light of the moon. It had done him good to calm down from the worry about Remus.

Suddenly he was brought out of his reverie by someone hitting his shoulder as he walked past them on this way to the Great Hall. He looked around to catch a glimpse of the greasy haired Slytherin who was quickly becoming their nemesis. Or in James' eyes, already was. Sirius didn't mind- the boy was an easy target, and he was scum. If he didn't always hang around that muggleborn girl in their house he would have thought he would be the same as his parents. Give him time and he'd be just like the rest of them in that house. It was as hilarious as a dizzy gnome as well.

"Oi, watch it Snivellus!" Sirius snapped.

"Or what? Going to attack me now Mummy's abandoned you again?" He sneered back, his lip curling aggressively.

James and Sirius both rounded on him, wands slipping out of their pockets into the hands. Standing a little behind them, Peter was clumsily trying to draw his wand, until the chunky handle got caught on his pocket and he gave up, deciding to egg the others on instead. Sirius flew forward, brandishing his wand at Severus Snape's hooked nose.

"Remus is not our 'mummy'," he snarled, preparing to either punch him square in the face or jinx the boy into next week. The thought that Remus had abandoned them stabbed him painfully; it was something that had been lurking at the back of his mind the last few days. He didn't trust them, and once again he'd vanished into thin air.

Around them a circle of students had formed, blocking the corridor off to anyone else. Through the throngs of people craning their necks to see what the young Gryffindor troublemakers would do next, a red-headed seventh year student pushed through. He laid a heavy hand on Sirius' shoulder, making him jump.

"Let's not lose any more house-points," he said, firmly but kindly.

Throwing a strange look at the boy, Snape turned on his heel and left, leaving the Gryffindors together. Sirius looked around and recognised the boy as one of their prefects, Charlus Weasley, the younger brother of Arthur, famous for his obsession with muggles. Most of his time seemed to be spent following them around and spoiling their fun.

"House-points, smouse-points." Sirius heard James mutter softly as they were escorted into the Great Hall for breakfast.


	4. The Niggle

**A/N: **_5 points to anyone who can work out who was graffiti-ing the Library books. And apologises that this chapter's a little shorter than usual, I felt like giving you another cliffhanger because I'm cruel like that._

**Morningdove14: **_Thanks, from HEKOF you should have worked out that I like putting in a bit of backstory about the characters families, we don't get enough of that in the books. I was imagining that Snape would be getting a little sick of MWPP by now and doing little things to get his own back when he felt brave enough. Of course in Severus' flashbacks he'd be making himself look like the good guy the whole time... As for Remus... they don't know the answer to that either._

* * *

-o0o-

* * *

**THE NIGGLE**

Despite the mood still being low with the continued absence of Remus – it was now the second day of his inexplicable disappearance – they had still managed to get their own back on Severus for his actions in the corridor. It had been relatively simple to do; they'd merely dusted a quill with some Zonko's Unwashable Itching Powder and left it on the desk he usually took in Transfiguration. Having not actually done anything while Professor McGonagall was in the room, she was powerless to punish them, but her grey eyes still pierced them as he sent him to the Hospital Wing after he'd inadvertently spread it to his face and tears began streaming down his face as he rubbed more into his eyes in an attempt to scratch them. They were doing their best to keep spirits high.

"This is so unfair," James whined, and everyone in the vicinity knew it must be nearing four o'clock; it was a regular occurrence every weekday. "We're second-years, why do we have to go to study hall?"

"Because, my dear Potter, they know we'll never do it otherwise," Sirius replied, putting on a mock aristocratic accent.

"But Sir, I would never _dream_ of forgoing the assignments of my elders," James quipped, with an equally posh accent, causing Peter to fall about in fits of laughter.

They filed into the library with the rest of their year, casting a glance around for their Slytherin nemesis, spotting him with unusually pink eyes. As they considered moving towards him, there was a small cough, and Professor Flitwick pointed them to a space at the opposite end of the bench. The three boys scowled and ungraciously dumped their bags on the table.

All throughout the day there had been something niggling at Sirius, but he just couldn't pinpoint what it was. He felt so blindingly close to working out what was wrong with Remus, but he couldn't force his brain into working it out. It was as if there was a Quaffle in his head where there should have been the information, a big round empty space. Or maybe a Snitch, buzzing around, always just out of reach. His right leg bounced up and down with impatience, and it was more than just sharing the frustration James felt at being cooped up in the library in silence for an hour.

"Give it a rest, Black," a voice hissed from down the table, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He scowled up the table to see the auburn haired Lily Evans leaning over her book staring back at him, and vaguely realised he must have been knocking the table with his knee. Without gracing her with a reply he looked away, trying to focus his eyes back on the textbook in front of him. Hair fell over his eyes, shrouding him from the world until all he could see were the yellowed pages of the book laying flat on the table, its spine cracked. His eyes refused to focus, blurring everything except the diagrams on the page, and turning them into nothing more than a series of circles, containing various portions shaded in.

This Astronomy assignment was getting nowhere. His eyes slipped off the page again, drifting over to the inkwell positioned to the left of his textbook. The black surface of the ink showed the flickering reflections of the candles hovering above them, lighting the library while they studied in enforced silence. They might have been silent, but that didn't mean they had to study, James was clearly bored, his hands gripping the seat beside him as he tried to lean backwards as far has he could, legs swinging. Sirius couldn't tell if Peter was writing or sleeping, he was bent so far over that his nose was almost touching the parchment as his hand slowly moved the quill across it.

Sirius scrawled on a piece of parchment, "What was this essay even supposed to be about?" and pushed it across the table to James. When he didn't acknowledge it, Sirius gave him a kick in the shin, causing him to lurch forward, and stifle a yelp.

Moments later there was a shrug, and then a reply on the same piece of parchment. '_Phases of the moon and their importance'. Or something like that._

He nodded his thanks and dipped a quill into the inkwell, disrupting the reflections. Slowly, as if walking to Azkaban, he printed the title on the top of a fresh piece of parchment. He glanced to his left, noticing that Bertram Aubrey had subtitled his with the phases of the moon, waxing gibbous and new moon for example. Deciding that if in doubt and missing the most intelligent member of your group it was best to copy a Ravenclaw, Sirius followed suit, beginning with the new moon, the first circle in the books diagram. He reckoned that if he did an inch on each phase and spaced them out he'd be able to make it reach to be a foot long.

When he reached the full moon his thoughts went back to his evening perched on the windowsill. Sirius had no idea why he kept thinking about that, anyone would think he was turning into a pansy. It wasn't a full moon anyway, that had been the night before. Professor Synod had ensured they knew that. Suddenly another thought entered his head, and it was much less welcome.

James' words from the night before were echoing around his skull: _"Yeah, like a vampire, or a werewolf."_

Or a werewolf. One part of his brain was insisting that Remus couldn't be a werewolf, he was anything but a bloodthirsty monster, but it couldn't block out the image of an almost full moon lighting up the Hogwarts grounds. Cursed wounds and full moons... it was a little too much of a coincidence. Fire raced through Sirius' veins as he leaped to his feet, oblivious to the fact that everyone was now staring at him, and James was tugging on his sleeve.

"Mr. Black, where are you going?" Professor Flitwick shrilly asked.

"Textbook, magical creatures."

"As far as I was aware you were working on your Astronomy assignment. Please remain seated."

Sirius simply stared at the flustered man and continued walking, making a beeline past the miniature professor to the Defence Against the Dark Arts section of the library. He muttered under his breath about this being both more important, and a joke. The professor simply watched him go, shocked at the sudden seriousness of the usually jovial prankster. Within moments he'd recovered, but by that point Sirius had already extracted several books from the shelving. In the distance Sirius could hear the professor telling everyone to continue with their work, in silence, but could barely hear him over the blood pounding in his ears. He had to know.

He ran his finger down the index of the first book he pulled out, and flicked to the page pertinent to werewolves. If it hadn't been charmed obsessively by Madam Pince, and generations of librarians before her, the book would have probably lost several leaves in his haste. Finally he found the page, praying that it would prove Remus' innocence.

_"__**Werewolf**_

_M.O.M. Classification: XXXXX__16_

_The werewolf is found worldwide, though it is believed to have originated in northern Europe. Humans turn into werewolves only when bitten. There is no known cure, and currently the symptoms cannot be alleviated by potions or any other means. Once a month, at the full moon, the otherwise normal wizard or Muggle afflicted transforms into a murderous beast. Almost uniquely among fantastic creatures, the werewolf actively seeks humans in preference to any other kind of prey._

_(__16__ This classification refers, of course, to the werewolf in its transformed state. When there is no full moon, the werewolf is thought to be as harmless as any other human, although few continue to attempt to live in normal society.)"_

In the margin next to the text there were the words written in a slanted female scribble, "Filthy half-breeds" and surrounded by a curling border, as if it was a love letter rather than a purist slur.

Sirius slammed the book shut after reading through the paragraph several times. He didn't feel like he could stand to read any more, he felt vaguely sick. All the book had told him was that humans transformed into werewolves every full moon, which he already knew, and that they were sickeningly bloodthirsty. Not that Remus was a werewolf. So why did the thought keep niggling at him? Remus disappeared loads of times; it had probably just been coincidence there had been a full moon that night...

Faintly the voice of Professor Flitwick carried over to him as he dismissed the rest of the students from the library. Within seconds James and Peter were at his elbows, looks of concern on their faces.

"Sirius, what is it?"

"Sirius?" Peter asked tentatively, almost sounding scared of the marginally older boy. He realised he must have made a bit of a demented sight.

Turning around to face them, he realised he was shaking, even though he had no idea whether his hunch was right or not. There was just a feeling that it was. But this was Remus, this was their friend, he wasn't a "murderous beast". He was just Remus, the one who got them through their assignments, and out of detention. Remus, the one who couldn't stand crowds and preferred to be alone with a book. The thought of Remus hunting a human was beyond him.

"Nahh, it's nothing. I'm just being stupid," Sirius lied.

He saw James share a look with Peter, who looked up at him. "Tell us. W-we won't laugh, will we Jamie?"

James glared at him and muttered quietly, "Don't call me that."

A small smile showed on Sirius' lips. "I just thought... well... you know it was the full moon the other night..." He shook his head. "It's daft though, I must have knocked my brains out when I hit my head on my telescope earlier."

* * *

-o0o-

* * *

**A/N: **_I need to note that along with all the characters belonging to J.K. Rowling at all times, the excerpt is from '_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them', _which belongs to J.K.R. etc. If you're very diligent you might notice that it's not exactly the same, I'm assuming the book owned by Ron and Harry would have been a little more up to date as there was no wolfsbane when Remus was a young'un._


	5. The Rift

**A/N: **_This updates taken longer than I'd have liked to get written because I'm still kinda undecided on how I wanted it to plan out, and my girlfriend's had time off work for once so I've been spending more time with her than thinking about this._

_I might only have six weeks left to finish this fic because of job stuff, so I'm not going to get it beta'd just in case I run out of time. I'm determined to get it finished._

_-_o0o-

"It's daft though, I must have knocked my brains out when I hit my head on my telescope earlier..." Sirius trailed off, shaking his head.

James frowned for what seemed like an hour, looking down at _'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'_ which was still lying on the bench in front of them. Quietly he spoke, "You're not trying to tell me that you think Remus is a... _werewolf_?"

An involuntary flinch came from all three boys as James spoke the word aloud, Sirius studied his face, completely unable to read the emotion on it. "It was just a thought. Probably way off the mark."

For a moment none of them spoke, and then James stepped back, drawing himself up to his full height. "There's no way that Remus is one of those. He'd never be allowed to come to Hogwarts." He threw the book, and then Sirius, a filthy look and turned on his heel.

Peter saw him turning away, mutely looked at Sirius, and then back to James, as if deciding who to side with. Sirius shrugged and nodded for him to follow James, feeling like it was down to him to find the truth out about Remus. If James was going to be like that... Remus would need someone on his side, or someone to prove that he was human now that he'd just landed him in it with James. He rubbed at the lump on his forehead, thinking about how rashly he'd acted. Not that he had any idea that would be how James reacted, he thought it was only his family who were so harsh on people who weren't pureblood magical folk, or pure human. Any road, Remus was a good person, what did it matter if he was a werewolf or not?

Thinking about how his family decided that blood was something which could be used to determine what someone was like, or how worthy they were of having a good life angered Sirius, just like it did every time he thought about it. If he, a twelve year old boy, could see that everyone was the same regardless of their blood history – a theory only strengthened by meeting the other students at Hogwarts – then why couldn't they? With his anger at his family's close-mindedness fuelling his determination to get to the bottom of the Remus problem he dashed to the hospital wing, leaving his possetions scattered around the now mostly empty library and ignoring the angry shouts from Madam Pince.

Running through the corridors, Sirius struggled to avoid bashing into the other students making their way to and from various parts of the castle, mostly older students from the Great Hall to their Common Rooms after games of Wizards' Chess and exploding snap. Narcissa, hanging off the arm of Lucius Malfoy, wasn't the first, or the last, person to threaten to jinx his legs together as he tore through the other residents of the castle. Frantically, he paced at the bottom of staircases as he waited for them to move to their correct positions, before sprinting up them, subconsciously jumping the trick steps.

Sirius arrived at the hospital wing panting and out of breath. Not that he really had any idea what he was going to do now that he was here. He just had a feeling that if Remus was a werewolf then he'd be here, recovering, and if he wasn't there then... he wasn't too sure what it would mean but he'd think about that later. Peering through the crack in the centre of the double doors he saw Madame Pomfrey at the end of the ward, and one cubicle with the curtain drawn tightly around it. Infuriatingly, that cubicle was as near to Madame Pomfrey and her office as possible, and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to see him if he was indeed a werewolf. Sirius needed James' invisibility cloak.

But James would be off somewhere bullying Snivellus and getting in trouble no doubt, and not wanting to help Sirius in his mission to find out what was going on with Remus. Putting his hands in his pockets, Sirius realised he had one of the prototype smokebombs they'd come up with him. No doubt James would hate him using it before they'd been able to make more and perfected them, but it was for a good cause. He was so sure that Remus would be in that cubicle.

The small green pellet was in his hand, but Sirius hesitated as he drew his wand from his pocket. Suddenly he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know if Remus was there in that hospital bed, or what the truth was, or what state he would be in. Wouldn't it be easier for him to just walk away and know nothing, forget all about this whole werewolf business? Maybe James had the right idea, not even entertain the thought. But Remus was his friend, no matter what.

Sirius tapped the pellet with his wand and threw it in the direction of a bed occupied by a sleeping patient. He ducked back behind the oak doors, listening to Madame Pomfrey's footsteps dashing towards the bed. Quickly, Sirius ran through the ward, ducking low as he entered the thick green smoke and trying not to cough as he breathed it in. He made a mental note to remove the frogs' spleens from the base potion, the smell they gave off was hideous, a mixture of off eggs and stale sweat. He reached the cubicle at the end and ripped the cubicle curtain open.

In the bed in front of him was a boy, his face grey and drawn. Light brown hair lay around his head, mussed up by the pillow. Sirius would have believed he was peacefully sleeping off a fever if it wasn't for the extremely dark circles under both of his eyes and the bright red cut crossing over his face, and several smaller ones on the hand which was laying outside of the sheets. A further clue was the various vials and flasks on the bedside cabinet, the foremost one a vial containing a purple liquid and entitled "Sleeping Draught".

"What..." Sirius breathed, taking in the battered and bruised sight of his friend.

He wasn't sure what to think. It was clear that Remus was in a bad way, something had happened to him, and it had to be something bad. It didn't prove that Remus was a werewolf, but it didn't help his case. Not that Sirius was trying to persecute him. If it wasn't for the almost empty Sleeping Draught, he would have tried to rouse Remus to talk to him and find out what was going on, but it would be pointless, and as he looked closer, he noticed that Remus' arms were covered in many more scars than the last time he'd seen him. Clearly he'd been hiding his wounds underneath that stupid cream he wore. And he _promised _that he wouldn't hide anything like that. Sirius didn't have the heart to feel angry at him though, nothing could break through knot of worry and concern in his chest.

Realising that the smoke would be clearing soon and Madame Pomfrey would soon be upon him like a vulture, he gave the broken body of Remus one last sorrowful look, promising to find a way to protect him from whatever it was that was going on. He was no longer sure if he really was a werewolf, not even a werewolf could inflict that many injuries on themselves, right? What if he was being attacked? What if a werewolf was attacking him? His mother could be a werewolf... Siri, he chided himself, stop getting carried away.

Sirius slipped out the opposite end of the hospital wing, hearing Madame Pomfrey cursing and trying to clear the smoke with some complicated magic. Looking back over his shoulder he grinned; it was having no effect on it at all. He slowed down to a walk as he left the hospital wing, trying to come to terms with what he had just seen. Remus Lupin was lying there, knocked out with a Sleeping Draught, and covered in masses of cuts and bruises, and he hadn't ever thought to tell them that he was getting that badly hurt. But Sirius couldn't be angry with him, not any more. Whatever it was must be big, and it was obviously causing Remus a lot of pain.

-o0o-

Sirius eventually got back to the Common Room, dragging his feet at the thought of having another run in with his best-friend, and not sure what he was going to tell them. As he approached the portrait hole, he muttered the password, "_Hungarian Vipertooth_" to the Fat Lady.

"Not going to paint a moustache on me today then?" She grumbled at him, darkly losing her usual rosy smile.

Sirius scowled at her, not in the mood to reminisce about their previous pranks when one of his friends was lying in a hospital bed, the other not talking to him, and Peter was following him around. He snapped back at her. "Let me in will you."

"Alright, alright." She slowly swung open, revealing the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room. "Not got your partner in crime with you today I –"

The painting was slammed shut before she could finish her sentence, but muffled shouts of indignation could still be heard well into the Common Room. All of the room turned to look at who had caused the commotion with the Fat Lady, and all bar two looked away when they saw it was Sirius. One of them, James, skulked past him without a word, and the other waited until he was gone – inciting more shouts from the Fat Lady – before hurrying up to Sirius.

"Peter." Sirius said, he was emotionally drained, he didn't know what to say.

"I don't know what the matter is with James; he's never been like this before." He said, looking around as if James was about to come back and overhear him. Suddenly he looked excited, "Follow me."

Confused, Sirius followed the shorter boy as he hurried down the left hand spiral staircase. What was it that Peter was so eager to show him, and how had James been acting for him to be worried about him being overheard? Obviously he was taking the thought of Remus being a werewolf worse than he had imagined, even when they'd made a complete hash of a prank he'd never ignored him like this. They were James and Sirius, the partners in crime, the bane of the entire school. If he'd been wrong about Remus he could have wrenched apart the group for no reason. Suddenly he felt sorry for Peter who was stuck in the middle.

Once in their dormitory with the door shut and latched behind them, Peter dived beneath his pillow, pulling out a slim leather bound book.

"I was thinking about what you said about Remus being, maybe, possibly, a werewolf..." He lifted the book proudly.

"Pete, I've looked in the library, none of the books tell us anything." Sirius sighed, knowing the boy meant well. It was just disheartening to think that he might have known something important.

Peter shook his head furiously. "No, no, no! It's a diary."

The room was filled with a hysterical laugh. "You. Keep. A. _Diary_?!"

A moment later there was silence as the reason behind the importance of a diary sunk in. If Peter had noted when Remus disappeared...


	6. The Truth

**A/N:** _I just realised I ballsed up and cut the previous chapter at the wrong point, accidently including part of what was supposed to be in _this _chapter. You were supposed to be left as he pulled out the "slim, leather bound book" to wonder what might be in it, but I went and told you it was a diary anyway. Now I've messed up how this chapter is going to start._

_This took way longer to write than I'd hoped; my parent's laptop charger broke, so they're stealing mine. I brought them a replacement, but it didn't work and I have to send it back when I can find a printer to print the documents off. I really am going to try and get this done by the time I go away though, or finish it when I'm there somehow._

-o0o-

Tension filled the air as Sirius looked down at the diary. "You haven't written when Remus' been disappearing have you...?"

Timidly, Peter nodded. "I don't know if it means anything, I haven't looked. I c-couldn't tell J-James. I daren't!"

Sirius nodded to his friend, understandingly. James might be one of the gang, but his actions had shaken up Sirius as well. "It's alright. Here, get your moon phase chart out."

Peter dived beneath his bed, searching for his bag and moon phase chart while Sirius managed to procure a tattered scrap of parchment and a quill from the insides of his robes. The quill had certainly seen better days, with the rachis being bent in several places. He resisted the urge to grab the diary and start noting the dates, the diary was private, and no one really knew what was going on inside Peter's head as he bumbled around his daily business. Finally Peter popped back up, brandishing the necessary chart and handing it to Sirius, who noticed that his hands were shaking and quickly spread it on the sheets in front of him before it was noticed.

"Read them out then." Sirius prompted.

Peter started flicking through the pages, and found the most recent – two days ago – which Sirius couldn't help noticing was labelled, "RJL missing!" at the very top. Although mildly obsessive it wouldn't half make it easier for them to find the right dates. He mumbled the date, "The 18th January."

Sirius scribbled down the date, knowing already that there had been a full moon, and marked it with an 'F'. He nodded silently for Peter to carry on, moments later it was found, and he called out another date. Peter's face became visibly sweatier as he got further and further to the front of the book, and Sirius thought that he was either going to have a heart attack or fall off the bed, or he supposed, it would be perfectly possible to do both. Just in case, he braced himself further onto the springy mattress with his left leg.

"So are they..?"

"Sssh," Sirius hissed, tracing a finger down the list of full moons, and marking them off the corresponding ones on the list with his left hand. Eventually he dared to look properly at the parchment and take in what was written there, although by Peter's silence he already knew what he was going to find.

The room became so quiet Sirius' ears began ringing. It was too much to comprehend. This was too much proof for him to explain away. Not that there was anything _wrong _with Remus being a werewolf, it was just that he'd lied to them for so long, and well... he was dangerous. It was one thing to spite your family by being in Gryffindor and friends with half-bloods and talking to muggle-borns, but hanging around with a werewolf was a little different. Even if he was a normal kid most of the time, he still had that potential, he was still an animal. Suddenly Sirius wasn't so sure how he felt about it, he'd been so positive that it wouldn't bother him if Remus was a werewolf, but now he was ninety-nine per cent certain he was having doubts. Maybe James was right to shun anything to do with werewolves after all...

A thought popped into his head and he started clinging onto anything which might give him hope. He wasn't ready to accept that Remus was a monster just yet. "That's only three days. It proves nothing."

Peter coughed a few times and managed to get his words out eventually. "He was disappearing all last year too though."

Sirius nodded, knowing his get out clause didn't really work. "I don't suppose you kept a diary last year too?"

Eager as ever to please, Peter hopped off the bed and dived back underneath, rummaging noisily through it. Sirius kneeded his forehead with his fingers, he had no idea how anyone could be so excited to do things all of the time. James really had been right their first night in the dormitory, Peter really should have been born as a house-elf. He would certainly make a good replacement for Kreacher, the miserable git.

Wordlessly, they fell into the same routine, the task getting done methodically, although their clinical approach didn't prevent Sirius' heart from speeding up any more. He honestly doubted it would cope with any more pressure; there went his illusion of being the best athlete in the year. The full moons were marked, the quill was laid down, and Sirius forced himself to look at it again, not able to bear looking at his friend's face.

_5__th__ September F  
4__th__ October F  
2__nd__ November F  
2__nd__ December F  
30__th__ January F  
29__th__ February F  
28__th__ April F  
18__th__ May F  
26__th__ June F  
23__rd__ September F  
22__nd__ October F_

Peter asked nervously, eyes flitting nervously between the chart and the list of dates. "What about March? There was a... thing then."

A miniscule spark of hope flashed in Sirius' chest, but was quickly extinguished, the following darkness biting worse than before. "Easter hols." He spoke flatly, sounding as empty as he felt, and they lapsed back into painful silence.

The silence continued to burn for what felt like several hours, in which Sirius' brain didn't seem to work properly. He knew he should say something but couldn't work out what. A banshee breaking into the dormitory would have been a welcome distraction from the unease building inside him. This was evidence that he couldn't refute.

"This doesn't mean that Remus wants to... kill us does it?"

Sirius looked at the boy, petrified and pale, and suddenly his doubt vanished faster than you could say Quidditch. He sort of smiled, and attempted a joke. "Only once a month." Peter flinched and then smiled weakly.

Somehow having Peter spell it out, the notion that his friend, Remus John Lupin, would want to _kill _them became so preposterously crazy that he knew he was still a human. Or at least he was a human most of the time. Remus was their friend whether James was going to be a prat about it or not. Actually, talking of James, Sirius realised that he should probably tell him, although he was sure it would go down brilliantly.

-o0o-

The boys had searched the common room, and asked everyone they could see, including the Fat Lady, who refused to talk to them until they threatened to give her full facial hair, including a beard. Then, just as he was about to turn away and leave her in peace, he transformed her pink dress into the orange and black colour of the Chudney Cannons, shouting over the top of her screeches that he would revert her back into her previous musty pink outfit if she refused to let James out of the Common Room if he entered. They couldn't help chuckling to themselves as they saw her desperately trying to hide behind the frame of her portrait, much to her neighbour's disgust. Despite that, they had no idea where James was hiding, and no one had seemed to have seen him.

"I bet he's hiding under that bloody cloak!" Sirius swore for the fiftieth time.

"What we need is a map telling us where he is!"

"Oh yeah, and where are we gonna get one of those from?" He snapped, frustrated from the fruitless search.

They carried on searching for James, but had lost heart as they noticed that the sun had set and the windows were now dark. Where ever he was, he didn't want to be found, and the boys prided themselves at already knowing most of the castle thanks to their games of 'hide and seek' with Filch and Mrs Norris.

Eventually Sirius sighed. "This pointless, let's get back."

Peter thankfully nodded, and they trudged their way back to the Common Room with heavy hearts and leaden feet. They were less than two corridors away from the Common Room when they were stopped. Immediately Sirius dived for cover behind a statue of armour, but Peter was left standing in the middle like a rabbit caught in headlights. Realising it was pointless, Sirius stood back up, trying to look like he was innocently pocketing something.

"Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew. I almost thought you'd finally taken our house points into consideration." Professor McGonagall shook her head, giving Sirius' pocket a piercing look, making him more than aware that she knew he had tried to hide. "I'm assuming you saw a flying kneazle or something equally extraordinary to have kept you out of the dormitory after hours?"

Putting on a voice even his mother would find acceptable, Sirius clasped his hands behind his back and tried his best to look innocent. "Actually Professor, we were worried about James, we haven't seen him for hours."

Her eyes narrowed. "I think you'll find Mr Potter is in the common room. I suggest you make your way there sharpish." With that she swept off, barely making a sound on the rough flagstones.

The two boys looked at each other and wordlessly decided to run before she thought about docking house points, or giving them detention. They'd probably only escaped because there weren't any more house points to dock, or trophies to polish. Sirius cursed himself for not realising that James would probably already be in the common room, he would have had to go there at some point, and the Fat Lady wouldn't let him out again.

"You know what Pete, maybe that map of yours _would_ be a good idea."

Peter just beamed.

-o0o-

"James." Sirius confronted him before he had time to scarper out of their dormitory back down to the common room.

"I'm trying to do this assignment." He mumbled, brandishing his quill as proof.

"No you're not. You never do your homework unless you can copy off Remus." At the mention of Remus' name James flinched, but Sirius pressed on. "Unless you're going to abandon your _friend_ because of something he can't change."

With a sigh, James dropped his quill, splattering ink all over his parchment and ruffled his, already messy, black hair. Scowling at the mess he'd made he pulled out his wand and vanished the excess ink. "I'm not going to even think about Remus being... that."

Perching on his bed, Sirius wrinkled his brow. Did that mean that James didn't care, or did it mean he was in total denial of the truth? If he didn't care then it was one hell of a U-turn, although he wasn't complaining if that was the case. Splitting the group up was the last thing he wanted to do, all he had wanted was to make sure his friend wasn't in trouble. Part of him wanted to just give in to James' wishes and drop it, they could just carry on as before, but the image of Remus laying in a drugged sleep in the hospital wing kept coming back to him. There was no way they could just abandon him in his time of need, he hoped they were better people than that.

"Mate, Remus is a werewolf."

"No! I'm _not _being friends with a... monster! I will _not_ share a room with one of those." James exploded.

Both Peter and Sirius jumped to their feet as James did, their hands subconsciously balled into fists. "Don't be such an arse James. Remus is our friend."

"He's not human though. He's a freak!"

None of the boys heard the latch on the oak door click.


	7. The Fight

**A/N: **_I'm off sick from work (nothing life threatening!) and spent the day watching Harry Potter films, so hopefully inspiration will hit... I know I've been slacking thanking people for their reviews, but it doesn't mean that I appreciate them any less! Right, gonna get to thanking people and writing._

**Morningdove14:**

_Thanks, I've often wondered why we have RemUS, SiriUS and SeverUS all in the same year before. Maybe it's like kids at the moment having Kayden, Jayden and Ayden (or other varients)... Yeah I see what you mean about that bit, trying to bulk chapters out is one of my weak spots in writing._

* * *

-o0o-

* * *

An odd feeling of being watched crept over Sirius, and the room fell quiet. He had a terrible feeling that someone had just walked in, and that that person was Remus. With a pained expression on his face he turned around to see Remus visibly shaking and looking thinner and paler than usual.

The frightened boy avoided their eyes and stared at the floor. "I'll – I'll pack."

Even before Remus spoke, he realised that Peter and him had been right, Remus was indeed a werewolf.

Sirius glared at James, disgusted that he was going to drive their friend out because of some stupid prejudice he had against werewolves. Surely James wasn't just going to stand there and watch Remus walk out, he had to realise that he was his friend had never done anything to harm them? Guilt flooded Sirius as he remembered painfully that he had been sceptical about remaining friends with him at first, but he shrugged it off, knowing that now was his chance to make it up to him by showing him he was still wanted at Hogwarts.

They all turned around as Remus scuttled to his bed and pulled the trunk out from it, hunching himself over as small as possible while throwing his few clothes into it as quickly as possible, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder every so often.

"What are you packing for?" Peter asked innocently.

"I-I can't stay here." His voice was so soft and timid it was hard to believe he was the same person who stood up to them when they started taking things too far against Severus, and actually made the perpetual troublemakers listen.

"Remus, you're our friend. We don't care." Sirius spoke up, praying that James would come around, and quickly.

Much to Sirius' horror, James gave him a filthy look and started to stomp out of the Common Room, but was caught on the arm by Sirius.

"What the hell?!" James shouted, thrusting his wand in Sirius' face.

"In case you've forgotten, Remus is our friend, and we'd have been expelled without him."

"He's a monster!"

"Stop being a prick, he's just like us!"

They looked over at Remus, who had practically crawled under the bed in fear, all the blood now long gone from his face. Pain hit Sirius right in the chest, knowing that Remus had been flighty enough in their first year without them fighting like they were now. He wondered if that was somehow related to him being a werewolf, it would certainly take something that big to cause such a reaction. Thinking back to the times he'd freaked out about their actions, he realised he must have hurt him physically too; if he really had been tearing himself up during the nights he was transformed. Realising this served to anger him more about James' stubbornness and refusal to see past their new knowledge about Remus.

Boldly Peter stepped in front of the cowering werewolf, squaring up to James.

"C-can't you see Remus doesn't want to h-h-hurt us? He's our friend!" He swallowed as both James and Sirius were stunned into silence; despite the stutters Peter was finally displaying some Gryffindor-esque traits. "You're more of a monster than he is if you want to abandon him because of something he can't change!"

Sirius realised that the arm he was still holding had gone limp, and awkwardly he realised it, looking at James' face, blushed with spent fury and now filled with shame, was angled to the floor. He still couldn't believe that Pete had been able to stand up to James like that, maybe there was some hope left for him. And maybe there was some hope for the future of the group if James was starting to feel ashamed too. But then there was a sudden scream coming from his lips.

"NO!" He lunged forwards, towards the clearly aching boy who was trying to clamber to his feet.

Automatically, Sirius wrenched his wand from his pocket and yelled, "Petrificus Totalus!"

A thud echoed through the room as James' limbs snapped together, and he landed heavily on the wooden floor. In the silence that followed, all that could be heard was heavy, ragged, breathing, mostly coming from Remus. Sirius realised that his shoulders were heaving too, but was more concerned about the skinny boy shaking in a corner on the floor, memories of his previous skittish behaviour flooding back to him. He remembered all too vividly when they had grabbed him when he'd refused to tell them why he'd been summoned to Dumbledore's office the year before. He'd completely freaked out, and then acted even weirder, getting really remorseful – even more serious than usual. Merlin knows how he reacted to actually being threatened by- he couldn't bring himself to think of his name.

He crouched down in front of him, seeing Remus tremble slightly. "Remus?" Sirius asked softly, "Are you alright?"

Slowly he nodded, trying to shakily get to his feet again, a hint of panic in his grey eyes.

"It's alright, he can't do anything now. Me and Pete wouldn't let anything happen to you anyway."

"Pete _and I_," Remus corrected wryly, causing Sirius to roll his eyes. He struggled to his feet, eventually managing taking the hand Sirius offered to him. It seemed as though his legs were too stiff to support him properly, and Sirius wasn't surprised by the number of potions sitting on his bedside in the hospital wing, he was obviously in some pain.

They were just about to sit Remus on his bed when Peter stopped them, worry in his reedy voice. "His eyes are really rolling around."

Sirius looked from the body laying paralysed on the floor to the four poster bed and back again, it slowly dawning on him why James had lunged for Remus. In his bed they'd hidden a balloon filled with Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, which was enchanted to explode at the slightest bit of pressure. In his fretting about what was wrong with Remus he'd completely forgotten it was lying in wait for the innocent boy to return to bed.

"Crap," he breathed slowly, drawing his wand and muttering the counter-curse as he pointed it at James. "Erm... Sorry?"

The boy on the floor suddenly relaxed from his ridged position, and clambered to his feet, pushing his round glasses back onto his nose properly. "I guess I deserved that."

"Are you going to stop being such a prat now?" He already knew the answer but had to ask anyway. When James nodded, he grinned, knowing the reaction his next words were going to get. "Now kiss and make up."

"Ewww!"

"Never!"

* * *

It took them a while, but they finally managed to convince Remus to unpack his belongings, and they tried to ignore how few he had, it didn't take much more than ten minutes for all of his clothes to be folded and stored back in his cupboards again, and his multitude of books stacked neatly by his bed. Both James and Sirius shifted uncomfortably, both knowing that they came from much wealthier backgrounds than their roommate, whilst Peter seemed oblivious. Not for the first time, he thought about how unfair it was that his family was so rich, but also so horrible. All the money in the world wouldn't make it worth putting up with his family any longer than was absolutely necessary, they were vile. Why couldn't the Lupins' have his fortune instead and it be the Blacks who were sending their son to school in patched robes?

James awkwardly managed to remove the booby trap from beneath Remus' sheets without setting it off, but none of them attempted to make conversation past small talk. No one knew what to say, least of all Sirius. His mind was still reeling, earlier that day it was just a vague, outlandish suspicion that Remus might not have been a human, and now here he was, not denying the fact that he was a werewolf. James had gone nuts about it – truth be told, he still couldn't tell what James was thinking, but at least they were in the same room as each other – and Peter had been surprisingly brave.

As for what Sirius thought, he didn't really know. He supposed that he was on Remus' side, if they had to be taking sides, but moreover he just wanted the group to be united again, it didn't feel right with this uncomfortable tension in the air. Not right at all. So when Peter started asking his awkward questions, he caught Remus' bleary eye, framed by dark bags, and decided that it could wait for the morning.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Peter mumbled.

Remus shot him a grateful look, and shut his book, drawing the curtains around his four-poster to give him some privacy. It now made sense to Sirius why he did so, he must have always been used to hiding his scars, and he realised how much it must have weighed on his mind, having to consciously hide it from them all of the time.

"James? D'you mind if we go to sleep now?"

There was a grunt from the bed to Sirius' right, and he assumed that meant consent, although there was a lack of the distinct 'click' which usually came from his glasses being set down each night. He waited a while longer in case he decided to shed his eye wear, and for Remus to finish getting changed, before waving his wand at the light and plunging the room into darkness.

"G'night guys."

"Goodnight."

"See you in the morning."

And a moment later, "Night." Then a 'click' of metal on wood.

* * *

Soft footsteps padded to his bedside, and Sirius, having not slept all night, rolled over, cringing at the rustling his sheets made, but fortunately it was masked by the soft snores of Peter. His mind hadn't stopped thinking long enough to let him sleep the entire night, and although he had no clue what time it was, he was sure that he'd been awake a fair while. Something made him think it was four am, but it was just a gut feeling.

"Sirius?" He recognised the whisper as being Remus' and shifted over, motioning for him to sit on the bed too.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really not care that I'm a monster?"

His last word stabbed at Sirius' chest. This was exactly what they'd been arguing about earlier in the evening, but only then it hadn't been Remus who thought he was a monster. "You're not. You're our friend, of course we don't care."

"James did though." Although he couldn't see any more than his dark silhouette in front of the slightly lighter shade of black in front of the window, Sirius knew that his face was even darker, and wouldn't have been surprised to find tracks, made by silent tears, running down his face.

Calling James an arse and telling him to forget about it would have been the easiest thing to do, and the only thing Sirius knew _how_ to do, he'd grown up in an environment as far removed from a touchy-feely one as possible. Thinking about his lack of ability to show compassion in times like these had caused him to wonder what made him different to the rest of his Slytherin family. Actually, he often wondered that, he knew he was different from them – Remus would have been blasted in to next century – and that he supposed the Hat had interpreted his ability to stand up to his parents as brave, but in reality it was nothing of the sort. Sirius stood up to his family when they went on pure-blood rants and rubbish like that because he saw no other way, doing anything else would make him someone not worth living. All he believed was that everyone should get a chance, and what difference did blood make to that? Even his own family tree had squibs in, judging at the burn marks, and what different was a squib to a muggleborn anyway?

Thinking about his family wasn't going to cheer up the boy sitting gingerly on his bed though. The boy who was probably still shaking after finding out that they knew so badly, and experiencing James' awful reaction. He could tell them that James was okay with it now, but Remus would know as well as he did that it might be a lie, none of them really knew what James was thinking. He was fairly certain that James wouldn't try and hurt him, but guaranteeing that no one else would find out from him was a different story, he was the one who spoke to other people the most.

Finally he settled on something that probably wasn't the most comforting, "He stopped you blowing the room into blackness though, didn't he?" Sirius thought a while longer, and then spoke softly again, "James might not have taken it well, and he might be from an old pureblood family too, but he'll come round. He's not a Slytherin after all."

The shadow shook his head slowly. "People'll hate me when they find out. They didn't want me to come because I'm not... safe."

"We don't hate you." Sirius sighed, "Where would we be without you? We've hardly done a scrap of homework between us while you've been away, and Pete came up with a great idea while we were searching-" he stopped suddenly, not wanting Remus to know that James had run off when he'd found out that their friend might have been a werewolf. "Anyway, he had this good idea of a map that showed where people are in the castle."

The mattress beside him sunk down a little further as Remus relaxed a little, thinking about the possibility of carrying out the intricate bit of magic, then shook his head again. "Hogwarts is unplottable, we wouldn't be able to." He marked the end of his sentence with a raspy yawn.

"Oh." Sirius shrugged, happy that he'd managed to get Remus' mind off panicking about his friends' knowing about his condition at least. "You looked bloody awful earlier – sorry – you really should get some sleep now."

"Yeah, it really takes it out of-" He stopped abruptly, stiffing immediately, almost bracing himself for a blow, which of course never came. "I'm just tired."

Sirius watched the shadow of this friend get up and cross the room to his bed, not knowing what to say to comfort him, to tell him that it was alright, that he wasn't going to think any less of him for being a werewolf. He wanted to grab him and force the knowledge into Remus' brain that he didn't care what he was, for all he cared he could be a Grindylow in disguise, it didn't matter; he was still their friend. And Merlin help James if he was going to continue being an arse about it.

* * *

-o0o-

* * *

**A/N: **_I hated writing James so horribly, I don't picture any of the Marauders' as nasty people – yes, even young Peter – but I also can't imagine them all being accepting straight away, as some people portray them as. Sirius' main character trait was loyalty, so I don't see him having a big problem with Remus, Peter had his doubts, but ultimately followed Sirius' lead, but James came from a pureblood wizarding family, so would have probably grown up hearing some level of prejudice, and well, he's proud. They can't all be perfect._


	8. The End

**A/N**: _I think I may actually make this the last chapter. I don't see where else I can take this, and I'm not particularly good at writing them just hanging around Hogwarts, although I did try. Whether I'll write anything in the future I'm not sure, but thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this and His Eyes. I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning. I did like writing Sprout though for some reason._

**-o0o-**

Sirius was late to wake up that morning, probably because of his late night chat with Remus, which he wasn't entirely sure had actually happened. In fact, he wasn't actually too sure if any of it had happened, maybe Remus wasn't a werewolf, and maybe it had all just been a crazy dream. And then he saw James scuttling around his bed and doing his best to keep his eyes focussed on the floor and not at any of the other boys, especially Remus. He groaned without meaning to as he swung his legs out of bed, shuffling sleepily over to his chest of drawers, hoping that the painfully awkward air wasn't going to hang around them for the rest of the day.

Much to his disappointment, it did continue for a fair while, the four boys dressing in silence, Remus hidden inside the drapes of his four poster bed as usual, but James wasn't parading half naked in his usual fashion. Sirius missed the chance to see how many times he could hex his bare skin with Furnunculus and laugh at the sight of his best friend covered in boils. He almost came close to saying that he missed Remus's whittling that it was dangerous, and sending Peter scurrying to get some Cure for Boils that James and Sirius had thieved from Snivellus. The memory of sneaking up on Snivellus brewing a potion in his spare time made him grin despite himself.

Remus eventually pulled back the drapes of his bed, and Sirius caught his eye, trying to non-verbally convey the question of whether he was okay or not. Apparently it had worked, as Remus offered a small smile and a nod of his head, which he returned with a wide grin.

"Umm..." James' uncharacteristically tentative deliberation seemed surprisingly loud, "I'm sorry for how I was last night."

An apology from James Potter? Sirius was gobsmacked. In all the years he'd known James, he'd never heard the word 'sorry' pass his lips, or at least, not in seriousness. If there was ever a time he needed to say one, it was now though.

"It's alright." Remus said softly, still remaining hidden behind his bed as much as possible. "D-do you mind if I stay?"

"I might be an arse sometimes, but you're still my friend. I know you can't change who you are." The bespectacled boy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, ruffling his black hair.

At the word 'friend' Remus perked up visibly, and resumed packing his school bag with more vigour, and actually dared to make a bit of noise. Sirius's shoulders drooped, and he realised he'd kept them tense without noticing, it was good to know that James wasn't about to murder his other friend just for being a... bit different.

"Does it hurt?" Peter's inappropriate and awkward questions had started, and there was a collective groan, there would be no putting them off any longer.

Remus's reply came as a mumble, and Sirius wished there was something he could do to help him out. For almost the first time ever he wished he'd read more books if just to be able to answer the questions himself. "The... transformations... hurt." Remus carefully kept his eyes focussed on the books in his bag, picking up the loose threads hanging from the strap. "And if I, umm, hurt myself."

For the first time the connection between Remus's wounds and the truth of the matter fixed itself in Sirius's head, even if it had been the thing which had sparked his determination to find out what was wrong with his friend in the first place. "You gave yourself those scars..."

"As a werewolf. Yes." Remus said curtly, and then looked up quickly, panic glinting in his eyes. "I mean, I didn't mean to lie. I just didn't know what else to say. People hate me when they find out what I am; that I'm an animal. It was the only way I'd be allowed to come here, if anyone finds out then it'll not be safe for me to stay. That's the only reason I lied to you. I'm sorry. You will forgive me, won't you? Will you? Please?"

The panic in Remus's voice was plain to here, but Sirius couldn't force his brain into thinking of a reassuring reply, the only thing it was able to think of was the words written in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _in hideous sparkling pink, words that Remus must be more than used to by now, and the words that must have made him scared to tell his friends. _Filthy half-breeds. _Was that all that Remus was to some people? A nameless, faceless half-breed? He knew it was, he knew what his family would say, and that only made him more determined to ensure that Remus wasn't destroyed by their stupid prejudices.

To the surprise of everyone, it was James who reassured Remus. "Don't be daft Remus; of course we wouldn't say a word to anyone, you're our friend."

The usually pale boy practically glowed, and grew an inch taller. "Seeing as I'm staying, I think I can make that map of Pete's work."

"Is this April Fools or something? An apology from James, _and_ Remus not being right first time!" Sirius spluttered in disbelief, but his interest was piqued, a map like that had endless possibilities, combined with James' invisibility cloak they would be unstoppable. "I thought you said we're unplottable here?"

Remus grinned in a very Potter-ish way, his eyes lighting up with the thought of a new challenge. "Our location is unplottable, but what's in it isn't..."

**-o0o-**

The boys were one of the last people to arrive at breakfast that morning, for the first time since they'd started Hogwarts a year and a half ago. James and Sirius decided that the best way to drown their sorrow at breaking their impressive record by challenging each other to a crumpet eating competition, much to the amazement of everyone around them.

"'Ow many's 'at now Re'us?" Sirius managed to mumble out around another mouthful of crumpet.

"Thirteen."

James managed to swallow his mouthful, albeit with a pained expression, and shoved another one on Sirius' plate. "Thirteen's an unlucky number; you'd better eat another one."

"Sod off, I've already beaten you." He pushed his plate away, clutching at his stomach. "I think I might be sick."

A prim female voice cut short their laughter, and they turned around slowly to see Lily Evans standing behind them. "Serves you right."

With amusement Sirius noticed James hurriedly wiping butter off his face, and trying to put his suave manner back in place. "You see Evans, some people like to have fun rather than trail around after greasy Slytherins all day."

She huffed, "Maybe you'll be busy 'having fun' and might leave Severus alone for once."

"Maybe Snivellus deserves it."

"Don't call him that!"

Lily stormed away, leaving James and Sirius laughing and clutching their stomachs harder than before; her reactions when they wound her up about Snape were just priceless. Peter was awkwardly chuckling, leaving only the werewolf with a decidedly unimpressed look on his face. The laughter stopped suddenly when Remus stood up from the table, tucking the book he was reading back into his bag.

"Where you off to?" Sirius called out when he recovered his command of speech, worried they'd done something to drive him away when even getting him to stay at the school was such a challenge.

"You know I don't like it when you do that." He said curtly, continuing to walk away from the table.

"Oooh, Remy has a girrrlfriend."

Remus didn't rise to the bait, but James stiffened slightly and hid his face in his pumpkin juice. Surely he didn't care who Evans was going out with, after all, he mocked her and her friendship with the slime ball often enough. Or maybe he had a secret fantasy for Remus... either way, Sirius had to stifle grin at the thought of having such good teasing material.

"Go and talk some sense into him Pete." James asked quietly, and as the boy scuttled away, Sirius realised it was the first time they'd been alone since discovering the true nature of their friend. The same thought appeared to have hit James as well, as he fell silent, looking down at his plate, shining with buttery grease and groaned. "I suppose we'd better get down to Herbology."

They rose from the table, and were out of the Great Hall before Sirius managed to pluck up the courage to ask him about his sudden change of heart. "What made you come round?"

"I heard you talking last night. I know he isn't really a monster, and I couldn't imagine not being able to come to Hogwarts just because of a..." He faltered, looking for words, "Furry little problem."

Sirius burst out laughing, "Furry little problem?! What is he, a bunny rabbit? Oh god, my stomach!"

James shrugged, kicking at a stone lying on the cobbled pathway down to the greenhouses. "Well, it doesn't sound so serious that way."

They were still chuckling when they reached Greenhouse, and then Sirius spied the Venomous Tentacula sitting just outside the door, rather than in its usual spot in the Herbology Classroom and pulled out his wand, immobilising the plant. "Oi, grab the other side of that."

Together they carefully carried the stationary plant inside the classroom, thankful that Professor Sprout was busy peering down at her register, trying to see the names beneath the smudges of dirt rather than looking out for any latecomers. As she was calling out Peter's name, they placed the plant quietly behind Snape, before hurrying behind their classmates to where Peter and Remus were waiting.

"Otter? No, sorry, Potter?"

"Here."

Timing it carefully as Professor Sprout read out Snape's name, James ducked back and pointed his wand at the Tentacula, and quietly whispered, "Finite Incantatem."

The explosion of swear words which filled the glass walls of the classroom, seemingly in response to his name caused the students to burst out laughing, and Sirius was sure he could see the professors plump cheeks twitching in good humour as she removed the Tentacula from the boy before it could fatally wound him. Snape seemed not to share in finding it amusing, and drew his wand ready to jinx the boy.

"Uh, Mr Snape, I don't think that's necessary." She said warningly. "Five points from Gryffindor should suffice to teach Mr Black and Mr Potter the correct way to conduct themselves when they're late for the class."

"Excuse me Professor; I just answered my name on the register." James protested innocently.

She winked, "We all know where there's Black there is always Potter."

And, Sirius thought, there'll always be Lupin and Pettigrew.


End file.
